


hold it in

by webhead



Category: Fantastic Four (Comicverse), Marvel (Comics), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: (and johnny's gonna be the one to give it), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Shot, Past Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Johnny Storm, coping mechanism yay, yeah ok this is super self indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-20 03:29:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15525078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/webhead/pseuds/webhead
Summary: Peter and Johnny are gettin' it on for the first time. Things don't go as smoothly as planned.





	hold it in

**Author's Note:**

> heed the tags. trigger warning for past rape/non-con because skip westcott is a piece of SHIT.

Peter ought to have listened to the warning bells in his brain. The red flashing lights, the sirens, the fact that this situation was covered in layers upon layers of yellow police tape.

But he didn't, he was just a kid, _we_ _were just kids_ , how was he supposed to know his friend and tutor would go on to betray his trust like that? To take him apart, ruin him,  _taint_ him?

_I shouldn't have gone I shouldn't have been there I knew he was trouble from the start he ruined me but it's my fault I ruined myself this is on me I was an idiot don't be an idiot Peter Benjamin Parker this is NOBODY'S fault but your own—_

"Peter?"

A familiar voice. Foggy. Distant. But all too close, like a subconscious thought, a memory, a song stuck in his head.

No, he was moving now. He was being moved, shifted. Warm arms cradling him, fingers carding through brown locks.

Blonde.

Blonde hair, blue eyes. 

"Talk to me," prompts the blonde hair blue eyes  _fuck it's Skip he's here he's back again I'm back here no stop I don't want to repeat this I don't want to do this anymore Skip I want to go home_ —

Tears steadily slip down his face and warm fingers rush to brush them away. _Flinch._

Blonde hair, blue eyes.

Proximity.

Warmth.

_Heat._

"Johnny?" Peter finally speaks up, sounding mortally wounded, destined for the worst possible fate, and dear God does it feel that way.

"Yeah, Pete. I'm here. You're okay."

The blonde hair blue eyes  _pink lips gorgeous smile safe arms loving demeanour_   _safety_ was kissing his forehead now and it was okay. He was okay.

"I'm sorry," Peter whispers through a wrecked sob, burying his face in the pillow. Johnny tugs the pillow away, trying to look Peter in the eye.

"Don't be sorry. Never be sorry, Peter. We rushed into things, you weren't ready, there's no shame in that. Come here."

Peter obliges, albeit hesitantly, pressing himself into Johnny's form, warmth encapsulating him. Heating his icy soul, his head that feels frozen and empty and not from Earth.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Peter shakes his head. Johnny understands, kisses the top of his head again, holds him just that little bit closer, stroking his arms.

"Okay."

Peter swallows. Guilty. He wasn't enough for Skip, he let him down, didn't do what he wanted, now he's letting Johnny down too. He wanted to be enough for Johnny, please him. They would have had fun tonight.

"You deserve better than me," Peter whispers.

"Better than you? Don't be ridiculous. There's no one better than you," Johnny replies, just as quiet, against the top of his head. "I am so damn lucky to have you in my life, Peter. Every time I think of you, the fact that you're in my life, the fact that some almighty God above deemed me worthy of having someone like you in my life... God, Pete, my heart swells. I don't know what I did to deserve you."

Peter's crying again. Johnny kisses him.

"Peter, I love you. And loving you means loving  _all_ of you. I love you when you're Spider-Man, snarky and sarcastic, helping me with battles, getting pizza with me, sitting on top of the Baxter Building. I love you when you're Peter Benjamin Parker, when you're nerdy and bookish and smart, when you're down, when you're hurt, when you don't feel like talking to me. When you're crying over... okay, I don't know what you're crying about. But that's irrelevant, Peter. What matters is that I love you with every fiber of my being, my entire heart and  _soul_. Unconditionally. Sex isn't the end of the world. You weren't ready for this, and that's okay. Sure, sex is _nice_ , but whether or not we fuck tonight has nothing to do with the fact that I adore you. Your happiness, your wellbeing, your consent and our  _love_ is infinitely more important than getting off."

Wrecked sobs against Johnny's bare chest.

"If and when you want to talk, I'll be here. I'm always here. You got me caught in your web."

He finally laughs. It's a gentle laugh, and it sounds out of place, but he  _laughs_ and the sound hits Johnny's ears like an angel's song. It's a fuck you to Skip, because despite everything, he can find happiness now. He finds happiness in Johnny's presence; sheer happiness and safety. One day he'll talk. He's opened up to Johnny plenty in the past, but not about this. One day. When they aren't laying half naked in bed, when Peter's face isn't stained with tears and Johnny isn't half hard after their escapades got cut short.

It's hard for Johnny to look past the droopy expression on Peter's face. He's fading fast, and Johnny shifts to carefully slip his underwear back on, and Peter obliges, too tired to complain. Johnny shoves an old shirt on and as soon as he's back in bed Peter gravitates to him again.

They are perpetually in orbit.

Johnny is the sun, of course. All things considered. Like being on fire. And being the light of Peter's life.

It's an overdone metaphor, but the sentiment makes a smile spread across Peter's sleepy face that already seems to be dozing off, limbs tangled with Johnny's and his face pressed against his chest, breathing him in.

"Goodnight, Webhead. I'm so proud to call you mine."

Peter's already out of it, and Johnny simply smiles.


End file.
